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RegY
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Prispevkov: 6720
Pridružen: Pe okt 25, 2002 1:18 am
Kraj: MariboR

izjave rodney carrington-a

Napisal/-a RegY Po apr 28, 2003 12:35 am

malo sem napisal par tekstov iz nastopa rodney carrington-a iz enega od njegovih nastopov

to je tipo, ki je zapel pesmico v animaciji "dear penis" ( http://tlf.cx/dearpenis.swf ), njegov videospot, baje, btw

vse je v angleščini, tako, da je samo za tiste, ki razumete angleško

i just hate stupid people... they should just wear signs that say: "i'm stupid"... so you wouldn't rely on them, would you? you wouldn't ask them things... you'd be like: "excuse me... whoops, nevermind... i didn't see your sign!"


so, when my wife and i were movin' from texas to california, our house was full of boxes, there's a u-hall truck in the drive way... my friend comes over and goes: "hey r u movin?" - "noup... we just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to se how many boxes it takes - here's your sign..."


cause of stupid people there are warnings on products... they're not for us... they're for stupid people
if they would be wearin' signs... you wouldn't sell them these products... now, would you?
it would be like "i'm sorry i can't sell you that"
and they'd be like... "why not?"


on a anti hemoroids pills pack, there are always warnings DO NOT TAKE THESE ORALY
cause somebody wrote them a letter
dear manufacturer of anti hemoroids pills,
i ate this whole box of pills, and i still got those hemoroids!
man... my mouth's so small... i can't eat one jelly-bean no more... but i can whistle really good!


when you buy a piece of stereo equipment... on the box there's a big line with bold letters: DO NOT EAT THIS
you ever bought a piece of stereo equipment and thought THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING TO EAT IN THERE?!?!


i was workin' on my wife's car a couple of weeks ago... put a new fan belt (jermen za pogon ventilatorja na avtu) on... you know on a back of a car fan-belt it says be sure you stop the motor first
wouldn't you love to been there the first time that happened?
some guy walks in the house... hand all cut up... you'd go: "hey Walt what happened?" - "*grhmnjg...* i'm gonna give you boys a little tip... you gonna put a fen-belt on the car, you better shut that motor off first... you can't stop it with your hands, man... it's like a machine or something..."


we were tryin' to sell our car about a year ago... a guy came over to the house, drove arround about 45 minutes... we get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down, and grabs the exaust pipe! and goes: "damn that's hot!"
see... if he'd been wearin' a sign, i could've stopped him... i could have said: "you're not gonna understand this, but... it's gonna be HOT!"


i think some of you ladies use curlin' irons (električni navijalci las) - i swear... it says: the first time you use a curlin' iron you might notice a slight odorance and smoke (- that means YOUR HAIR'S ON FIRE!)


there's warnings on blow dryers (fen za lase) - it says: do not use while sleeping... well... hasn't that become a problem... 'cause i don't know the rest of you, but i can not count the number of times, i've been found asleep, i woke up, i was doin' my hair! DAMN, I'VE BEEN SLEEP-STYLIN' AGAIN!


i saw an i**** on tv this week, i was watchin' one of those shows on animal planet, there was a guy inventing a shark-bite suit - there's only one way to test that... you gotta get bit' by a shark
but the guy was inventing one during the test, and had a buddy helpin' him out - that's the conversation, i wanna be in:
"jimmy, come here! ... allright, jimmy, you got that shark bite suit on - looks gooood! NOW, what we gonna do... we gonna strap dead fish all over your body. (stay with me, jimbo, stay with me...) and i want YOU to jump into this pool full of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts, when they bite you!"
"well allright... HOLD MY SIGN, I DON'T WANNA LOOSE IT!"

se oproščam na vseh napakah, če so kje... slovnične, tipkarske... but you get the point

če vam je všeč... predlagam program kazaa, kjer vpišete rodney carrington in vam nameče polno njegovih stvari ven... moje priporočilo: morning wood - full cd --- 58 minut čistega smeha

LP!
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